Day Zero Project

Day Zero Project?  What's this you may ask?  Well, let me explain.  It is a project where you have 1,001 days to complete 101 goals.  1,001 days is just short of 3 years.  In 3 years, I'll be 33 and if you know ANYTHING about me, you know that 33 is my number.  So with that said, let me explain why I am starting this project.

In an earlier blog (ok, so I've been super bad about keeping up with this and really it's the 1st blog a wrote out of the 3 that are posted on here so far)...I talked about how I wanted to live up my next 30 years.  So far, the beginning of my 30 years has been a rough one.  It started out great by spending it in Gatlinburg with some of the best friends a girl could have.  But like most things in my life, I get on this "life is great" high and then next thing you know, SPLAT!  There I am smooshed all over the road again by life.  Downhill from there it went.  I failed at getting a "big girl job."  I failed at trying to restore a friendship.  I failed at taking the CPA exam.  I failed at losing weight.  It just seemed to be one failure after another until one day I woke up and just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, mother nature decided to throw a tantrum and rain on my crap parade.  I lost my job.  I lost my job because the city decided to have a good 'ole flood.  I was stuck without an ark.

When that happened, I gave up.  I thought, "What's the point!?"  No matter how much I wanted to make a "new life" for myself or a "better life", it was like the dark side was saying, "Not today!  I win!" (insert evil laugh)  And so I fell into a deep depression.  I slept all day.  I didn't eat for days and then would turn around and just shove crap in my mouth.  Food and I are not always the best of friends.  It teases me screaming, "Eat me!  I'll comfort you!" and while that satisfaction is there for a brief moment, it never lasts forever.  So long story short, I was back at the pity party stage in my life.

I remember after having dinner at a friends house one night, I drove to the parking lot of the job that I really wanted and didn't get.  I put on some sad tunes, and I cried.  I screamed.  I let all my anger out.  I sat there and asked for something to help me turn this around.  To get back on track.  To know that I am going to be ok.  To know that my life means something.  I wanted to feel alive again.  After sitting there for a good hour, I drove home.

A few more weeks went by and just when I was about to give up on all hope on ever being happy, I got the call.  I GOT THE JOB!!!  The job that I first applied for back in January.  The job that I went on 3 interviews for.  The job that I sat in the parking lot for a hour while having my break down.  I GOT THE JOB!!  I jumped out of bed and ran into Amanda's room and shouted it!  I called everyone I knew shouting it!  And then I sat down and pinched myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming.  You mean, something is actually going right in my life!?  And it was at that moment in time, my faith was restored that there is something greater out there looking out for me. 

Many of you may be thinking, it's just a job.  But for me, it wasn't just another job.  It was the beginning of a career.  It meant not having to deal with immature coworkers, rude guests, nights, weekends, holidays, double shifts only to wonder if I was going to make enough this week to cover my expenses.  It meant that I had finally arrived in the adult world.  It meant a steady paycheck, vacation time, and benefits.  Which to most may seem like nothing, but when you've never had them before, it's everything.

I have now been at my job for almost 2 months.  And while I have had some trials in trying to learn something completely different than waiting tables and slinging drinks, I love my job.  I now park every day (M-F that is) in the parking lot without the tears.  I park there knowing I am walking into my future.  I park there knowing I'm gonna be ok and that at this moment in time....I'm right where I'm suppose to be!

So with that said, my day zero project.  I'm tired of feeling like I felt earlier this summer.  I am tired of hiding behind shadows.  I am tired of starting things only to give up because it was too hard.  Nothing in life comes easy...especially the good things.  I'm tired of giving up.  I will stand strong and prevail.  I have so much to look forward to.  I'm ready to live life once and for all.

So here is my list.  While I haven't come up with all 101 things to do in the next 1,001 days, I will be adding to the list to get to the 101 things and blogging about my journey thru my Day Zero project.  My start date is September 1, 2011 and ending May 30, 2013.

Keeping Up With Day Zero

(I just deleted the old list and linked it to the new one with all 101 things)

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, "WOW! WHAT A RIDE!!"        ~anonymous