“May today mark the beginning of the many new joys and accomplishments and a continuation of all of the good things that you have already achieved.”
Throughout my life I have wanted to “start over” or “redo” things. Many times it is because I didn’t like the outcome, or someone didn’t “approve”, or simply because I just made some bad decisions. And although I now know that we aren’t ever put through things that we can’t handle, I still sometimes wonder why me or why did I REALLY have to go through that…couldn’t there have been a simpler way?
Many times I have told others that, “I don’t regret anything I have ever been through because it has made me the person who I am today”, but sometimes I still wonder….who am I??? And do I really have “no regrets” in life??
Am I really that caring person that some see me as? Always wanting to help others out and knowing most of the time I will get screwed over. And do I get screwed over because I am too nice and willing to help someone out? Am I being taken advantage of right now?
Or am I that dark person that no one gets….rude with an “I don’t care” attitude? Am I that person because of the people who use me? Am I becoming jaded to the world around me causing me to be that sarcastic person??
And I guess everybody has two sides to them. It’s that ever “good vs evil” fight that we all go through every day of our lives. You want to believe in the good and be good…but sometimes it is so hard with all the negativity that is around you. But at what point in life do you decided the good will triumph evil or vice versa?
I want the good to triumph over the evil. I want to see the good in everyone. I want to make me happy. I want to be happy.
But for now…I see that the evil is winning and it makes my heart sad to know that my soul is lost…and as much as I want to fix it…to make it all better...it just seems to get harder and harder every day.
I must focus now on what is to come in my life. I can’t look back because I can’t change it…but I can change the broken parts and pull myself up out of the darkness and leave my evils behind. I will transform….I will do it for me and no one else…
So here is to beginnings…my goals and accomplishments…my life….
